Not swearing infront of the kids....

[littleEDfamily]

Yes, trinity, absolutely, I have no doubt that lovely non-swearing parents exist (my own parents, for instance!). The choice I was presenting was an attempt to bring some perspective to some slightly hysterical suggestions that parents who swear are the devil incarnate.

You have to be yourself when raising your children, I think. And yes, that does mean having to exercise some self-control a lot of the time, but completely suppressing your personality and need to occasionally vent I think is taking things too far. Wonderful if you are just one of those people for whom swearing just doesn't sit right, but no need to vilify otherwise great parents for the occasional lapse.

[sillywoman]

littleEDfamily - >:D

[Vanessa3]

littleEDfamily ... We're with you on this one ;-)

[ClareC]

Yes, totally agree!

[Gussy]

littleEDfamily for president! :))

[littleEDfamily]

I think this is the first time I have ever been agreed with so wholeheartedly on this forum, or life in general for that matter. I will relish this moment, fleeting though it undoubtedly is....

[reneet]

littleEDfamily - You have my vote for the devil incarnate club president

[BB100]

ClareC Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> zeban Wrote:

> ------------------------------------------------>

> It really makes me laugh how a thread started in

> jest but covering a serious topic (for which it is

> useful to know the best way to deal with the

> ituation should it arise) ends up with posters

> making insulting judgemental bigoted remarks about

> people they know nothing about.

Erm, the thread started with someone feeling maybe a little guilty about their habit and was probably looking for a bit of reassurance that they weren't alone. Then I came along and tried to get people to think about how a child may feel about it. Then a few got a bit defensive and took exception to a word they weren't sure was meant by it and then the usual EDF debate commenced.

Swearing is a form of abuse whether at a person, an object or a situation. If you think it makes you a bad parent then maybe it does, if you think it doesn't then maybe it doesn't.

[????]

errrr, it was meant extremely light heartedly.

Swearing isn't abuse, by the way. You come accross as a little bit unable to empathise that people's experience of their mum and dad swearing does not match yours. I love(d) my mum and dad and they were fantasticly loving and giving they never swore at us their kids but the occasional profanity did pass their lips

Calling someone a cunt is abusive and calling your child that would clearly be too, but saying Fook when you drop a plate is hardly the same. For whatever reasons, and I'm sure they are personally true to you, you don't seem to see this.... so all swearing is abusive???!!! I think that swearing is possibly tied up a whole load of other personal experience in your case.

I suspect will continue to let out the occasional sh1t or F*ck pass my lips... not intentionallu, not amazingly clever but not abusive, and certainly not losing any sleep over it.

[Jasmina]

This thread made me laugh... Oh I cant wait! :)) x

[BB100]

???? Sorry if I spoilt your light-hearted thread, I didn't realise you just wanted your ears tickled. yes swearing is abusive speech but I suppose if you say it isn't then it can't be. I just know that when I hear someone swear (whatever it is for, or to) I lose respect for them for their lack of self-control - which yes is tied up with my experience (but there is no 'whole load of other', just the swearing, cheek). At school they tell you swearing is bad, then you come home thinking your parents are bad. At the end of the day, I just wanted people to give a little serious consideration to how, and if, it affects their children and how they feel about it. If you know it doesn't then fine, but how do you know? Have you asked them?(answers not required).

[Moos]

Popcorn, anyone?

[helena handbasket]

BB100, you're flogging a dead horse.

???? you summed it up perfectly.

[BB100]

helena handbasket Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> ???? you summed it up perfectly.

what that by suggesting that I'm somehow 'damaged' discredits and distorts my view? More like I have an opinion that you don't like. Pass the popcorn Moos...Yawn.

[Moi23]

Sorry BB100 meant to post this on the thread, but accidentally sent you a private message!

BB100 Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> At the end of the

> day, I just wanted people to give a little serious

> consideration to how, and if, it affects their

> children and how they feel about it.

Of course everybody considers it, hence the fact that most of us try extremely hard not to swear at all in front of our children. Which is what this whole thread was about in the first place.

[legalbeagle]

Just wrote an article on this very subject! I apologise in advance to any Spanish speakers....

http://tinyurl.com/6l67vto

[Otta]

Yesterday, I was getting impatient about something, and said "for f**ks...", only for my nearly 2 year old daughter to say "sake".

Luckily her mother wasn't around at the time... Must try harder!

[Mark Dodds]

If you do swear in front of the kids don't be embarrassed, don't try to cover it up; just admit you did it, apologise and explain why you did - give them some context, explain it's part of language and that by and large there are more appropriate ways to express yourself - ways that are more expressive and intelligible. Train them to be people not to be perfect.