Peckhamgatecrasher

Michael said: "I think an ED Home Guard is called for" Torn between responding with "Don't panic, don't panic!" or "We're all doomed!". Think I'll go for both.

The thing is, when it actually happens to you, every good intention goes out of the window. I've replayed how I should have done it so many times. Bit like thinking of a stinging retort several days later!

My friend wot's just had a baby was advised by some weird pregnancy guru to eat a tablespoon of ghee twice a day in the last month. It looked and tasted absolutely foul - not dissimilar to Swarfega. After a few days of rinsing the spoon in the sink it became blocked. I've only just got over my curry phobia and this is making me feel sick again.

Terry Gilliam used to drink in the old Clockhouse (RIP)

Hurrah - you're back from honeymoon - I'll have someone to moan about the cricket with tomorrow. What do I get for 300 green shield stamps?

sickle

DM - is the rumour true that Michael's codpiece is fashioned from kevlar?

I me mine - George Harrison

Interesting questions BigDad - hope you get some answers. Regarding shifting kids between the schools, surely they will just walk across the park? My school had the playing fields a mile up a busy, main road and we had to walk there (unless one of the teachers was in a good mood and gave us a lift). No big deal.

Just had the lovely lady whose mother has died on my own doorstep. I must hang my head in shame though, I think I've scared her off and she will be inventing another pitch. Her: "I need to ask you for help. My mother has died and my brother and sister and me" Me: "need to get to North London and it will cost ?38.70?" Her: "Yes. How did you know?" Looks very bemused. Me: "You've played this scam too often round here." Shuts door. Only later did I think that I should have called the police, thrown buckets of cold water, etc. It did not warrant a 999 call and though the neighbourhood thingammy number has been posted several times on here, I just didn't think quickly enough. Moral of this is copy the number down and leave it somewhere handy.

Ruby, don't take your love to town - Kenny Rogers

lieutenant

made the mistake of opening a bottle of wine and watching an episode of 'House'. Couldn't be bothered to go out into the cold after that. Hope you had a good time.

Sweet Williams outside William Hill.

Naughty Michael, but very funny.

Sounds a perfectly genteel pasttime. I suggest we repair to the green after the forum drinks.

If I post anything on municipal pansies after the forum drinks, just ignore me please.

Happy Birthday fellow Februarian.

Bonkers - have I slipped in to a 25 year old time warp?

Congratulations Moos, it's the ED Existentialists and you have passed the entry test by displaying that man is miserable.

orchids

Killing me softly - Roberta Flack

Hey good looking - Hank Williams

rose garden (boy george innit)

Try OCO Ltd, based in SE13. 8297 7700.