Peckhamgatecrasher

Maybe - won't know til next week.

And an old mobile phone. (Both SAS tips - always give up quietly and walk away from confrontation - not worth getting hurt for)

Yes - see you there.

Simply divine Huncamunca.

A white sport coat (And a pink carnation) - Marty Robbins

Actually darlings, it's U and Non-U.

Resident boy = clumsy way of saying he lives in ED. In last incident, mobile 'phone stolen and he was beaten about the head. Noone intervened except the driver who locked the doors and called the police. He let them go when they threatened to cause mayhem on the bus.

I, a female, have never been mugged in ED or elsewhere. However, I do know a 16 year old resident boy who has been mugged at least four times, the most recent occasion being on the number 12 bus last week by a group of lads. Each time he has reported it to the police with, to date, no resolution. Interestingly he is tall, personable and in no way `victim-looking' so I don't know why he has been so unlucky.

Dear Michael Revenge is a dish, etc ... Mea culpa - but it was an accident and since we'd traversed several miles in various directions I wasn't going back for it. I will join you on the scourging stool. Anyway, back on topic, what about a merry old maypole? Perhaps we could start the ED Morris Men branch? I could see you with a sheep's bladder and bells on your toes. Yours PGC

But, KK, the enclosed bit is not dog-poo free: small ones can wriggle through the sides of the posts, large ones can easily clear the fence - both not intended by their handlers; and irresponsible owners deliberately walk their dogs in that part - dogs which in my opinion should be muzzled and always on a lead because they cannot be controlled properly. Invariably, the latter owners don't pick up after their dogs so you could still tread in ordure on the dog-free side. Removing the dog fence would at least ensure that badly behaved dogs would have to be restricted by a lead.

Green, green grass of home - Tom Jones

Happy Birthday Hibbs - more G&Ts this evening I trust.

Completely unrelated but regarding the Coop chemist: I was advised to go in there today by the lovely Maggie from the subterranean antique shop who knew I was looking for some non-safety matches for an old match stand. I've been looking for ages (only obscure American brands seemed available on the internet) as Swan Vesta are too harsh. All this time they were just round the corner and the assistant in there was so lovely. No idea how their prescription system works though. [do I win the competition for most irrelevant/unhelpful post of the day?]

Annaj - I understand the Plough does a lovely chilled bucket of water.

Pierrepoint

I hasten to point out that it's my friend who's given birth - not fruit of my own loins! But I will pass all good wishes along. She lurks here occasionally.

After a gruesome birth, blood transfusions, etc, she delivered a bonny boy absolutely healthy and no idea of the fuss he caused. That's what I call an achievement!

"Frankly their support is shit!" Steady on, old boy, my lovely maiden daughter was singing her heart out for Chelsea. She did however think Spurs deserved to win. Surprisingly, she was quite underwhelmed by the Wembley experience.

Just made me first ever curry: Cauli & Broccoli tharka dhal. V nice too.

Unilever

Agree with Bob - you are likely to blow the engine up which is a damn sight more expensive to replace than a can of oil.

y before m = e before r except after x

Groan - my head hurts.

Keef posted yesterday on his cut - you just need to thread hop a little. I think a few ironymeters need resetting.

Alternatively buy a long wheeled base landrover that seats at least 9 - you get away with the congestion charge and I'm sure you could afford the 5 inches per gallon it will consume.