dulwichmum

Dear Domitianus, "What exactly is 'filth' about them?" Perhaps you and Mrs Domitianus consider "dogging" a normal part of your relationship (because that is what we were talking about)- but it is not really for everyone darling. I apologise for refering to your little hobby as filth - tomorrow is Good Friday, and I have been in the company of Fr O'Connor. Perhaps it has caused me to be a little judgemental? Certainly my children consider themselves to have arrived via the stork, and they always will as far as myself and my darling husband are concerned. Good for you for refusing to consider your hobby as filth. Maybe you should start off your own thread just for you perverts?

To Tollgate drive with the lot of you! And this the holy season of Easter... For shame.

It isn't somewhere rude - to do with Tollgate drive - please assure me Ratty?

Sobs into hankey, says "I just love bone crushing hugs" - looks wistfully at empty handbag and thinks of Mr Batdog...

Hands enormous duvet to Mr Ant from behind Japanese screen, gives him a knowing smile as babies are such hard work.

Dear Keef, You poor man, you were probably damaged by this! Clare C, it us up past the toll gate near Sydenham Hill Station. These people are filth. They should be boiled in oil, and have their children confiscated by the social services.

Wafts out from behind Japanese screen wearing pads from facial stimulator machine, smiles and hands Grande Latte to Bagpuss 78. Returns to behind screen and plugs self back in...

Dear Madworld74, Please do not pick on poor Spymum, she can't help it if she is posh.

You could not off load that many Guardians in West Dulwich if you were to give them away, really boys and girls, what are you thinking? We read The Times over here.

What does CHOL mean?

Dear Shambles, Have you ever considered blogging any of this? Have a wonderful Easter everyone, James is working again so I shall remain here on the forum alone! All plans to explore the allotments near Dulwich Wood are off...

Has anyone seen Batdog?

Dear Shambles, It really is him isn't it? He has been dognapped and is living in the USA! Where did you find it? Louisiana, I would hate to expose myself here - but I have in excess of 70 pairs, many still in the boxes - I just love upmarket boxes, with their little shoe stretching appliances, shoe horns and shoe bags - simply heaven. I love LK Bennett and Hobbs for workwear, but I recently bought several pairs of strappy Gina sandals and some super black Conolly car shoes - still concealed in the boot of the car. There is a special place in my heart for Jimmy Choo boots (I shall never buy ugly Uggs). Shoe shopping is always a feel good activity as I never feel I have to loose weight to wear new shoes or bags!

Dear Louisiana, You see I think Dulwich Housewives would be much more entertaining!

OHMYGOD!!!! The filthy b******s! Do they not know they will rot in hell? Please excuse me, I am going to have to lie down...

Dear Louisiana, Which words? I am googling away and just getting pictures of dogs!

True Mr Mikewbate, it was just that for a moment there he seemed like the perfect side kick. We shared a similar sense of humour, a love of the finer things in life: tea, fine wine, peotry - attacking perversion wherever we found it - just normal super hero stuff... I feel lost now, as though I have lost a favourite half carrat diamond and platinum stud earring.

Dear Louisiana, I would love to lie and agree with you, but I am afraid that I was given one for Mothers day (yellow is sooo fadish, and will never be a classic) but I have invested in another uber bag since, and I have to say, a girl can really never have enough hand luggage! Anyhow, my bags have been suffering a huge amount of wear and tear lately, what with having to lug Mr Batdog around with me everywhere ... until he escaped!

In the name of God Louisiana, do not tantalise me so, now you are talking serious gossip. Many of the parents from my sons class live up there! Please, please do not keep me in suspense! Do you mean that 1970's estate opposite Sydenham Hill train station? And pray dear cyber chum - how do you know this - you suacey minx!

Darling Louisiana, Clearly you are too young to have witnessed the random facial whiskers of a Welsh mother in law!

It should serve as a lesson to us all. Really, too many accessories can be a bad thing!

Dear Louisiana, "No, but I have heard there is in Dulwich a certain lane not unconnected with certain practices indulged in by a famous footballer". Surely you are not saying that famous footballers are (cough) "dogging" on Court Lane? What filth! I suppose Court Lane is filled with riff raf and new money - what should we expect?

Dear Mr Chartwell, The menopause is nothing to make fun of! Indeed if it were not for HRT and lazer hair removal, most of the vintage mothers of SE21 and SE22 would virtually be bearded ladies! I am not vintage myself you understand - simply mature at only 39 years... But when my time comes - please don't laugh about me on the forum. I thank the Lord every day that I am currently physically perfect! DM

It does seem that way - at least as far as I am concerned! He has washed his hands of me - like an old shoe!

Dear Louisiana, If you think that is bad, please take a look at Barbie and her dog Tanner that eats biscuits, poos them out and then our darling daughters feed the dog the sickening "dog filth" biscuits again. http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=4960468 I was horrified when I saw my baby open her birthday presents! The filth and horror goes on and on though - they have also a cat Mika that piddles in a sand filled 'litter tray'. http://www.amazon.co.uk/Mattel-K2771-Barbie-Teresa-Mika/dp/B000ELIXAO It is a disgrace. My daughter shall never clean up after her pets in reality - why do we have au pairs afterall? Pass the smelling salts! As a friend pointed out to me recently, they will have bulemic Barbie next, that wolfs down Krispy Kreme do nuts, and then press her tummy and hey presto - she purges!