dulwichmum

I don't know Mogs, I am afraid to click on your link. It all sounds a little too Trudie Styler to me!

*Walks purposefully into quiet room dressed up for Japanese tea ceremony.* *Admires reflection in full length window pain, thinks to self - "I look stunning with black hair and red Kimono." *Wonders if Mr Keef is somewhere sellotaped to a lamp post on his stag party... waves to MW74 and offers cup of tea*

OHMYGOD!!! Asset - I shall have to go and lie down. Shame on you. Darling Peckhamgatecrasher, do you have a Panadol?

Please Frisco, I wasn't having a go at you at all with what I was saying. I am just stating a fact about how unadventurous children can be when trying to find somewhere to feed them outside the home. I loved Grace and Favour on Northcross Road for their salads, but my babies would expire if I took them in there now (so I suppose I am relieved they no longer sell food). It is really easy to be idealistic about how you would feed your children or even keep your house clean. If the cafe in the park is not pristine, it has a lot to do with sticky little hands and the fact that it is so well used. I too would not go for coffee in the old cafe in the park, it was horrible. But I love the cafe in the park now, the children like it, and so do their friends. I can sense you are probably going to have a go at me now, and I am not exactly sure why. I wasn't having a go at you at all.

Oh no, please I am not having a go at Frisco. It is just that I am more aware than most (no genuinely here - it is my job - no really stop laughing...) that what little children should eat to be healthy, and yet my children are not willing to engage with any of it. Some children just want plain food. They like boiled eggs and soldiers. My pair will not eat anything remotely to do with olive oil (drat) or even ever so slightly garnished with rocket (the frustration is mind bending)... But fair play to them - bread and butter, an apple or a few chips - and we have no problem. Don't tell anyone. I shall be frozen out at the school gates ... I am happy to go to Dulwich Park and know that we can have our tea, and they will not die of scurvey, bread and butter followed by an apple and everyone is happy! They are only children afterall, I have had enough of making them little fashion victims. They don't like vegan/sugar free birthday cake - but really, neither would you.

Lovely Downsouth, Can I put more gin in your tonic?

Indeed, I have exposed my two babies to sun dried everythings/Sunday morning at Borough Market, and they refuse to eat all of it. They like bread and butter, occasional chips and sometimes toast with honey when we eat out! Why must everywhere be bloomin organic, free range and tweezed to perfection to meet general approval. The cafe in the park is not MacDonalds - there are no free toys/goodie bags to take home or colouring books or gimicks but the children eat the food and it child friendly and it is fine. This is food for the majority. It is in the park, it is fine. My children are overloaded with bloomin vegan birthday cake, raisins and rice cakes from everywhere else. Why must everywhere turn into a gastro location?

Boys and girls... (tut, tut), where is the poetry in this thread? Really now, please - lets have some decorum? How about this... Canine excretion?

Yes indeed, and stop talking about brown nosing - it is simply horrid! Lovely Sean, fancy a roll up?

Darling lovely Sean, I simply hate the phrase "Brown nosing" - it takes me right back to my days on the building site - when it was meant literally...

Where is the Rose Bakery?

Do you remember what we had there before this? OHMYGOD!!! Really, they are grand now, honestly, they are grand.

Dear DG, You say SE22 magazine was "brownnosing to this forum, which is presumably why it has found favour over Dulwich Life." and further that you;"get fed up with the same endless smug posts, cliqueness and snide remarks on this forum." It just sounds to me that you don't like us, or SE22 magazine. If you don't like what you are reading, why put yourself through it? Life is too short. I certainly don't think this forum is "clique" prone. We actively encourage new people to join in. All are welcome here, honestly. Feel the love... Some people are incredibly brave on the internet, making negative comments online - on forums and blogs is not brave, just destrictive. There really never is any excuse for nastyness.

So the trick should be to go for the early bird menu and ask for a free colouring book? We shall try it and see...

Dear Mr Spadetownboy, My children don't like The Harvester because they don't give you a colouring book and crayons, and also Cafe Rouge doesn't serve organic fayre either - but it is the same price as The Harvester with a substantially better menu!

I am sorry, I can't believe this. My husband would never cover up for me. And even though I love him dearly, if he hurt one of our children - I would not cover up for him. Perhaps I am naieve, but I cannot believe that they could have covered for eachother.

Lovely Luca9853, I would like to say that your impression is correct, but I can't. It is an expensive enough lunch option with children, and there really isn't a lot to occupy them. If you can make it over to Cafe Rouge on Parkhall Road, the food is substantially better, and they give out crayons and colouring books. The staff are more than accommodating and very child friendly.

One of my most favourite lines is "but you have to it is my birthday!" I don't tell anyone what age I am - but it is a great excuse to acquire gifts... The other line I enjoy is "Of course I love you, now where are my presents..."

Oh Wow! Well spotted! DM

Dear Chichirara, What page? I can't find it. And to think, I almost put this mag in the recycling!

Opens fan and trots out onto balcony. Points to Madworld74, says "honestly, I am a married lady!!! Oh no, why Mr Keef, please no!!! Don't shoot - I like Madworld74"

Oh yes, Chatsworth Way! A very nice chap I know was almost beaten to death there recently by a drug crazed youth with a base ball bat... Never Ever go there after the sun goes down CitizenEd. I couldn't care less about the quality of the housing stock. East Dulwich it is not. There is another good similar play group at the Salvation Army hall just up the road on the high street for 2.5 to 5 year olds. Best only go there in day light though.

OHMYGOD, Lovely Chavlette with a Law Degree has an enormous dog - I may need to buy a gun!

*Opens one eye and whispers "Will no-one help me up? I am cannot move in this bloomin corset!"*

Tries in vein to put out flames on musical instrument but is driven back by the heat. Cries "Help, help!" in the manner of Penelope Pitstop. Wonders how Mr Keef can be so cruel? *Considers piano-forte replacement whilest holding back of hand against brow...* *Faints due to restrictions on breathing caused by enormous corset.& *Hits the ground with the tiniest of thuds as is very small and ladylike (and yet incredibly glamorous for a married lady...*