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Some pesky local yoots slashed a couple of my car tyres at the weekend...sad times. But while changing the wheel it got me thinking...


How many of these 'Man* Tasks' do you think you could successfully complete? Took me a while to think of these...


1. Change a car tyre

2. Wire a plug

3. Put up a shelf (has to be straight and level, and support more than the dust it will accumulate!)

4. Light and use a manual 'old school' BBQ (no gas allowed)

5. Replace a faulty fuse and reset the fusebox

6. Finish a curry hotter than a Madras (no fluids allowed)

7. Erect a fence (that will withstand a decent stiff breeze)

8. Hitch up a caravan to a car then reverse it round a corner

9. Change a nappy

10. Set up an HD TV with Surround, DVD Player and Stereo out of the box

11. Fillet a fish

12. Pitch a 2-man tent

13. Repair a bicycle puncture

14. Build a flatpack wardrobe (minus points for back-to-front doors, wonkiness, and surplus bits)


And finally (you'll probably need it)...


15. Drink a yard of ale


Be honest! My early bid is 9/15. Decided best to leave out 16...clobber the little bu**ers that slashed my tyres!




*or woman (dont want to be accused of being sexist!)

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jaybee82 Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> How many of these 'Man* Tasks' do you think you

> could successfully complete? Took me a while to

> think of these...

>

> 1. Change a tyre On a bike, yes. On a car, no. Only the wheel. Can I have 0.5 of a point?

> 2. Wire a plug Yes

> 3. Put up a shelf (has to be straight and level,

> and support more than the dust it will

> accumulate!) Yes - but it won't be pretty. We're talking batons.

> 4. Light and use a manual 'old school' BBQ (no gas

> allowed) Yes. Although I have once set myself on fire so perhaps stand back when I attempt this.

> 5. Replace a faulty fuse and reset the fusebox Yes.

> 6. Finish a curry hotter than a Madras (no fluids

> allowed) No.

> 7. Erect a fence (that will withstand a decent

> stiff breeze) Never tried, so probably no.

> 8. Hitch up a caravan to a car then reverse it

> round a corner No - I hate caravans

> 9. Change a nappy Did I give birth to it? No? Then take it away.

> 10. Set up an HD TV with Surround, DVD Player and

> Stereo out of the box Yes

> 11. Fillet a fish Yes - including flat-fish

> 12. Pitch a 2-man tent Hmmm....does it come with instructions? Just about I should think

> 13. Repair a bicycle puncture Hmmm...maybe. Probably with the instructions the repair kit came with.

> 14. Build a flatpack wardrobe (minus points for

> back-to-front doors, wonkiness, and surplus bits) Yes - I've actually done this....and I needed 15 afterwards

>

> And finally (you'll probably need it)...

>

> 15. Drink a yard of ale Shamefully, no. I can't down more than a pint at best. See last year's Barry Barry Road Race as an example.



Hmmm - a distinctly un-man-like 9.5 for me I'm afraid. Now, where did I leave my lip-balm?

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1) Piece of piss and on a motorbike.

2) Done it hundreds of times.

3) Yes.

4) Yes done it while camping but I have burnt myself a few times.

5) Yes.

6) Sort of. I've eaten a Faaal but it was washed down with beer and tears.

7) Yes.

8) No.

9) Yes.

10) Not in a million years.

11) Yes. Learnt it in the cadets.

12) Yes. I can also pitch a five man tent but not on my own.

13) Easy.

14) Yes but it may be disassembled and reasembled several times during construction.

15) No way!

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1. Change a tyre - yes

2. Wire a plug - yes

3. Put up a shelf (has to be straight and level, and support more than the dust it will accumulate!) - yes..ish. Depends on the wall. Partition walls I struggle with

4. Light and use a manual 'old school' BBQ (no gas allowed) - yes. On a good day. It has gone wrong on occassion

5. Replace a faulty fuse and reset the fusebox - yes

6. Finish a curry hotter than a Madras (no fluids allowed) - yes

7. Erect a fence (that will withstand a decent stiff breeze) - yes

8. Hitch up a caravan to a car then reverse it round a corner - extremely doubtful

9. Change a nappy - yes

10. Set up an HD TV with Surround, DVD Player and Stereo out of the box - yes

11. Fillet a fish - never done it. Suspect I could given time. Hmm - that'll be a no then

12. Pitch a 2-man tent - yes

13. Repair a bicycle puncture - yes

14. Build a flatpack wardrobe (minus points for back-to-front doors, wonkiness, and surplus bits) - more times than I care to think about


And finally (you'll probably need it)...


15. Drink a yard of ale - not a hope in hell

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Tony.London Suburbs Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> ::oTruthfully?

> 1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10/11/12/13 14 ALL NO!!!!!

>

> Number 15: (?)(?)..er, thats another NO!

>

> Go on my son!......good news is I know a Man(or

> 20) who can!...then I can continue with my

> hedonistic existence that I was put on this earth for:)


p.s I see I've scored the dreaded "Nil Points":)-D

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Some impressive results!! Forgot to say that instruction manuals for all of these tasks are strictly forbidden. Sorry.


I vote anyone who backs themselves for over 10 of the above should compete in a compulsory man-off on Peckham Rye. Looks like TLS is playing the part of the ring-wench with the placards stating 'Round One' etc

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jaybee82 Wrote:

How many of these 'Man* Tasks' do you think you could successfully complete? Took me a while to think of these...


> 1. Change a car tyre: Certainly Not.

> 2. Wire a plug: You're Joking, Right?

> 3. Put up a shelf (has to be straight and level,

> and support more than the dust it will

> accumulate!) Now, I know you're joking...

> 4. Light and use a manual 'old school' BBQ (no gas

> allowed) : Not Interested.

> 5. Replace a faulty fuse and reset the fusebox: Where's The Fusebox?

> 6. Finish a curry hotter than a Madras (no fluids

> allowed): Hate Curries, last one was in 1975..uurrgghh!

> 7. Erect a fence (that will withstand a decent

> stiff breeze): Slot in panels in between concrete posts erected by...someone else, naturally.

> 8. Hitch up a caravan to a car then reverse it round a corner: Would get a Campervan.

> 9. Change a nappy: Never had the need to.

> 10. Set up an HD TV with Surround, DVD Player and

> Stereo out of the box: Whatttt...

> 11. Fillet a fish: Pop down the road and buy Plaice and Chips: Job Done.

> 12. Pitch a 2-man tent: Hold the sticks and offer moral support enthusistically.

> 13. Repair a bicycle puncture: Fell of a Man's bike when I was 6 years old, never been tempted since.Thanks.

> 14. Build a flatpack wardrobe (minus points for

> back-to-front doors, wonkiness, and surplus bits) Yeah! Sure!..Manual might as well be written in Ancient Greek to be honest.

>

> And finally (you'll probably need it)...

>

> 15. Drink a yard of ale: Rarely drink and never smoked anything.

>

> So still "Nil Points" Mr. Wogan.

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???? Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> With the exception of changing nappies and the

> BBQ..I get a *proper man* in for all my supposed

> DIY tasks...they do it better, quicker have all

> the right gadgets and I like my free time and

> 'monetise' all my time...me doing it is a wasted

> resource


Tru Say, Mi Bredrin!


NOW you are talking My Man!

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Ooh how thrilling! It's quite exciting to realise there are still a lot of real men out there (sorry TLS)


In my last relationship I was the one to change the fuse / plug / light the barbecue / build the furniture / get rid of spiders. Few women like to feel like the butch one in a partnership...


(Still can't pitch a tent though, mostly because I like boutique hotels.)

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RosieH Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Ooh how thrilling! It's quite exciting to realise

> there are still a lot of real men out there (sorry

> TLS)


No Problemo! I'm still proud of the fact that I got 0% at Woodwork and a surprisingly high 5% in Technical Drawing in the first year of Grammar School, at which point we went our seperate ways, ne'er the twain shall meet, IN THIS LIFETIME!

>

> In my last relationship I was the one to change

> the fuse / plug / light the barbecue / build the

> furniture / get rid of spiders. Few women like to

> feel like the butch one in a partnership...


Agreed, but a very good Ladyfriend is a Civil Engineer and she doesn't mind a bit of "role reversal"B)


Had NO interest in anything remotely "technical" or "practical" whatsoever.


Love these "handy" Guys who have tried to tell me how easy it is!

I say to them if you can do 10 mathematical calculations, seperately, in the time it takes to say it, "like wot I can" then I'll do some "DIY"..NO CHANCE!:-$

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