Man* Tasks

[jaybee82]

Some pesky local yoots slashed a couple of my car tyres at the weekend...sad times. But while changing the wheel it got me thinking...

How many of these 'Man* Tasks' do you think you could successfully complete? Took me a while to think of these...

1. Change a car tyre

2. Wire a plug

3. Put up a shelf (has to be straight and level, and support more than the dust it will accumulate!)

4. Light and use a manual 'old school' BBQ (no gas allowed)

5. Replace a faulty fuse and reset the fusebox

6. Finish a curry hotter than a Madras (no fluids allowed)

7. Erect a fence (that will withstand a decent stiff breeze)

8. Hitch up a caravan to a car then reverse it round a corner

9. Change a nappy

10. Set up an HD TV with Surround, DVD Player and Stereo out of the box

11. Fillet a fish

12. Pitch a 2-man tent

13. Repair a bicycle puncture

14. Build a flatpack wardrobe (minus points for back-to-front doors, wonkiness, and surplus bits)

And finally (you'll probably need it)...

15. Drink a yard of ale

Be honest! My early bid is 9/15. Decided best to leave out 16...clobber the little bu**ers that slashed my tyres!

*or woman (dont want to be accused of being sexist!)

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

Couldn't do six or ten, but the rest easy as building a pergola.

[giggirl]

3

[matthew123]

I reckon 12 out of 15. I'm saying no to number 15 as I think you mean in one gulp! :)

[david_carnell]

jaybee82 Wrote:

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> How many of these 'Man* Tasks' do you think you

> could successfully complete? Took me a while to

> think of these...

>

> 1. Change a tyre On a bike, yes. On a car, no. Only the wheel. Can I have 0.5 of a point?

> 2. Wire a plug Yes

> 3. Put up a shelf (has to be straight and level,

> and support more than the dust it will

> accumulate!) Yes - but it won't be pretty. We're talking batons.

> 4. Light and use a manual 'old school' BBQ (no gas

> allowed) Yes. Although I have once set myself on fire so perhaps stand back when I attempt this.

> 5. Replace a faulty fuse and reset the fusebox Yes.

> 6. Finish a curry hotter than a Madras (no fluids

> allowed) No.

> 7. Erect a fence (that will withstand a decent

> stiff breeze) Never tried, so probably no.

> 8. Hitch up a caravan to a car then reverse it

> round a corner No - I hate caravans

> 9. Change a nappy Did I give birth to it? No? Then take it away.

> 10. Set up an HD TV with Surround, DVD Player and

> Stereo out of the box Yes

> 11. Fillet a fish Yes - including flat-fish

> 12. Pitch a 2-man tent Hmmm....does it come with instructions? Just about I should think

> 13. Repair a bicycle puncture Hmmm...maybe. Probably with the instructions the repair kit came with.

> 14. Build a flatpack wardrobe (minus points for

> back-to-front doors, wonkiness, and surplus bits) Yes - I've actually done this....and I needed 15 afterwards

>

> And finally (you'll probably need it)...

>

> 15. Drink a yard of ale Shamefully, no. I can't down more than a pint at best. See last year's Barry Barry Road Race as an example.

Hmmm - a distinctly un-man-like 9.5 for me I'm afraid. Now, where did I leave my lip-balm?

[Cassius]

7

[macroban]

Trouble is that eight of those tasks require a man who knows how to use a tool.

A rare commodity.

[woofmarkthedog]

Grrr..

1....please clarify......wheel or tyre on a car ?

6 = no

10 = no, no, no...

15 = No..tried it & puked up straight away (...consider curry might re-visit..via the nasal passage......aggggghh yak )

Total= 12/13 ...and I'm only a dog.....

Woof

[bigbadwolf]

1) Piece of piss and on a motorbike.

2) Done it hundreds of times.

3) Yes.

4) Yes done it while camping but I have burnt myself a few times.

5) Yes.

6) Sort of. I've eaten a Faaal but it was washed down with beer and tears.

7) Yes.

8) No.

9) Yes.

10) Not in a million years.

11) Yes. Learnt it in the cadets.

12) Yes. I can also pitch a five man tent but not on my own.

13) Easy.

14) Yes but it may be disassembled and reasembled several times during construction.

15) No way!

[SeanMacGabhann]

1. Change a tyre - yes

2. Wire a plug - yes

3. Put up a shelf (has to be straight and level, and support more than the dust it will accumulate!) - yes..ish. Depends on the wall. Partition walls I struggle with

4. Light and use a manual 'old school' BBQ (no gas allowed) - yes. On a good day. It has gone wrong on occassion

5. Replace a faulty fuse and reset the fusebox - yes

6. Finish a curry hotter than a Madras (no fluids allowed) - yes

7. Erect a fence (that will withstand a decent stiff breeze) - yes

8. Hitch up a caravan to a car then reverse it round a corner - extremely doubtful

9. Change a nappy - yes

10. Set up an HD TV with Surround, DVD Player and Stereo out of the box - yes

11. Fillet a fish - never done it. Suspect I could given time. Hmm - that'll be a no then

12. Pitch a 2-man tent - yes

13. Repair a bicycle puncture - yes

14. Build a flatpack wardrobe (minus points for back-to-front doors, wonkiness, and surplus bits) - more times than I care to think about

And finally (you'll probably need it)...

15. Drink a yard of ale - not a hope in hell

[Tony.London Suburbs]

...as below..

[Tony.London Suburbs]

Tony.London Suburbs Wrote:

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> ::oTruthfully?

> 1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10/11/12/13 14 ALL NO!!!!!

>

> Number 15: (?)(?)..er, thats another NO!

>

> Go on my son!......good news is I know a Man(or

> 20) who can!...then I can continue with my

> hedonistic existence that I was put on this earth for:)

p.s I see I've scored the dreaded "Nil Points":)-D

[jaybee82]

Some impressive results!! Forgot to say that instruction manuals for all of these tasks are strictly forbidden. Sorry.

I vote anyone who backs themselves for over 10 of the above should compete in a compulsory man-off on Peckham Rye. Looks like TLS is playing the part of the ring-wench with the placards stating 'Round One' etc

[????]

With the exception of changing nappies and the BBQ..I get a *proper man* in for all my supposed DIY tasks...they do it better, quicker have all the right gadgets and I like my free time and 'monetise' all my time...me doing it is a wasted resource

[Mick Mac]

My wife does all of these things in our house - she knows asking me on most of them to be a waste of time.

[Mick Mac]

actually - I can do 2,3,9 and 14. Anthing technical is her area of expertise (her father was an engineer - its in her genes).

[Tony.London Suburbs]

jaybee82 Wrote:

How many of these 'Man* Tasks' do you think you could successfully complete? Took me a while to think of these...

> 1. Change a car tyre: Certainly Not.

> 2. Wire a plug: You're Joking, Right?

> 3. Put up a shelf (has to be straight and level,

> and support more than the dust it will

> accumulate!) Now, I know you're joking...

> 4. Light and use a manual 'old school' BBQ (no gas

> allowed) : Not Interested.

> 5. Replace a faulty fuse and reset the fusebox: Where's The Fusebox?

> 6. Finish a curry hotter than a Madras (no fluids

> allowed): Hate Curries, last one was in 1975..uurrgghh!

> 7. Erect a fence (that will withstand a decent

> stiff breeze): Slot in panels in between concrete posts erected by...someone else, naturally.

> 8. Hitch up a caravan to a car then reverse it round a corner: Would get a Campervan.

> 9. Change a nappy: Never had the need to.

> 10. Set up an HD TV with Surround, DVD Player and

> Stereo out of the box: Whatttt...

> 11. Fillet a fish: Pop down the road and buy Plaice and Chips: Job Done.

> 12. Pitch a 2-man tent: Hold the sticks and offer moral support enthusistically.

> 13. Repair a bicycle puncture: Fell of a Man's bike when I was 6 years old, never been tempted since.Thanks.

> 14. Build a flatpack wardrobe (minus points for

> back-to-front doors, wonkiness, and surplus bits) Yeah! Sure!..Manual might as well be written in Ancient Greek to be honest.

>

> And finally (you'll probably need it)...

>

> 15. Drink a yard of ale: Rarely drink and never smoked anything.

>

> So still "Nil Points" Mr. Wogan.

[Tony.London Suburbs]

???? Wrote:

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> With the exception of changing nappies and the

> BBQ..I get a *proper man* in for all my supposed

> DIY tasks...they do it better, quicker have all

> the right gadgets and I like my free time and

> 'monetise' all my time...me doing it is a wasted

> resource

Tru Say, Mi Bredrin!

NOW you are talking My Man!

[RosieH]

Ooh how thrilling! It's quite exciting to realise there are still a lot of real men out there (sorry TLS)

In my last relationship I was the one to change the fuse / plug / light the barbecue / build the furniture / get rid of spiders. Few women like to feel like the butch one in a partnership...

(Still can't pitch a tent though, mostly because I like boutique hotels.)

[Mick Mac]

Oh dear Rosie H - You have made me realise I have made my wife feel butch for 15 years now. Better get down the diy classes.

[Asset]

I reckon I could do 10/15, some of them not too well though. Mr Asset could prob do them all (that's why I love him).

[Tony.London Suburbs]

RosieH Wrote:

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> Ooh how thrilling! It's quite exciting to realise

> there are still a lot of real men out there (sorry

> TLS)

No Problemo! I'm still proud of the fact that I got 0% at Woodwork and a surprisingly high 5% in Technical Drawing in the first year of Grammar School, at which point we went our seperate ways, ne'er the twain shall meet, IN THIS LIFETIME!

>

> In my last relationship I was the one to change

> the fuse / plug / light the barbecue / build the

> furniture / get rid of spiders. Few women like to

> feel like the butch one in a partnership...

Agreed, but a very good Ladyfriend is a Civil Engineer and she doesn't mind a bit of "role reversal"B)

Had NO interest in anything remotely "technical" or "practical" whatsoever.

Love these "handy" Guys who have tried to tell me how easy it is!

I say to them if you can do 10 mathematical calculations, seperately, in the time it takes to say it, "like wot I can" then I'll do some "DIY"..NO CHANCE!:-$

[RosieH]

There is a certain something about a man in a tool belt

[Tony.London Suburbs]

RosieH Wrote:

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> There is a certain something about a man in a tool

> belt

Yeah! If I wore one, I'd look like a real ";-)tool"

[Mick Mac]

Yeah - but Rosie - there's no point in having the tools if you don't know how to use em,.