Online dating: what do we think?

[Moos]

Online dating = perfectly normal.

Seems a sensible way of getting out into the world of dating without relying on friends' recommendations, drunken encounters in pubs, taking up ju-jitsu etc. etc. At the very least you can practise your flirting skills while waiting to meet someone you have the spark with.

[Brendan]

I think it is perfectly normal too. Especially in a big city like London where a large portion of the young single people are from out of town so don?t already have a well developed social base and people in general are guarded and standoffish. ?tinterweb can play an important role in breaking the ice I think.

We use the internet for everything else anyway.

[Jeremy]

I actually did it a few years ago. It can be good fun, but you shouldn't go into it with unrealistic expectations.

daizie Wrote:

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> Photos are usually old and/or taken in a good light.

True, but of course people (both men and women) are going to put their more flattering photos online! Didn't you?

[daizie]

ha ha jeremy, mmm..im as good in real life >:D

[Keef]

Just remembered an old friend from Sweden telling me some years ago (about 2002/03 I guess) that even then, online dating was the most common way for couples to hook up in Sweden. I guess it's that British habit of being a bit uptight about things that can gt in the way.

I think there is a stigma held by some, and I admit I once thought it would just be weird people on there, but actually, I know about 10 women from 25 - 35 who have had a crack at it, all of whom have been good pals, and would be a catch for anyone.

[jaybee82]

Wow Keef, if I knew that many I'd definitely start a business of my own! Seriously though, I considered it for a while but know a friend of mine that got proposed to by an Oriental woman for what turned out to be Visa purposes...

Not every day you get an offer thats both flattering and practical.

[dukesdenver]

.

[buggie]

Ahhh CC - its much clearer now!!

Keef wedding is def still on - see you and annaj et al there!!

As a disclaimer should add, had lots of one date wonders that I'm fairly sure had friends dispair of me and agree with Time Out being the best place to find slightly mad chaps!!

[matthew123]

Is this the beginning of the end for such online dating problems, as it seems the Japanese have a solution!? ;-)

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/7946780.stm

[Michael Palaeologus]

I guess the internet is just another way of meeting people - which can be so difficult in London. I havent tried it myself (indolence mostly) but know people who have with the inevitably varied results. One friend is now happily married to a very decent chap she "met" in a chat-room (he really was mid-40s, divorced, GSOH and a company Director) another had no luck whatsoever, but did use t'interweb to find an ex from 25 years ago and they are now living together in Berlin. Interestingly, both friends used to be married to each other.

Others have followed something of a pattern, they have met people via the internet with little success, but then met somebody in the usual face to face way and found a partner, maybe the experience of internet dating made them more open and positive about meeting new people?

[Applespider]

Michael Palaeologus Wrote:

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> Others have followed something of a pattern, they

> have met people via the internet with little

> success, but then met somebody in the usual face

> to face way and found a partner, maybe the

> experience of internet dating made them more open

> and positive about meeting new people?

Good point and I think it's very true. Sometimes even the 'thrill' of getting some dates or knowing someone is interested can make you a lot more confident and more open to seeing the possibilities outside. Not to mention getting in all that flirting practice ;-)

[Nichiyobi]

I'd certainly agree with that, the more practice you get the better!

Worried they're all going to be short now though, being tall and in love with my high heels that would not go down well.

Decided to bite the bullet and do it, found a guy on there I randomly bumped into in Iran just a few weeks ago! Small cyber world indeed!;-)

[Sue]

One of my sisters met her partner through Guardian Soulmates (paper not website) and they've been together for years.

I met some really nice men through internet dating including one I was with for over a year.

However the advantage of meeting people in real life is that you can tell if you fancy them - you can get a quite wrong impression via emails. So I would say it's better to meet up quickly rather than carry on lengthy email/phone conversations when you build up a picture of someone which might be quite wrong.

Also, it appeared that nearly everyone except me was lying about their age - what's the point?? Just made me wonder what else they were lying about :-S

[Mick Mac]

charliecharlie Wrote:

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> oh oh oh silly me, I had not got my glasses on and

> I thought you said "GOT married in 2 weeks" (not

> "GET married in two weeks"!!!) I was thinking

> wow... 2 weeks after meeting, that was really

> quick... now that must of been TRUE LOVE

> :)):))

>

> not surprised you found someone Buggie... you are

> fab person... he's lucky!!!

> xxCC

Just read tbis thread for first time and also read it as GOT married in 2 weeks - must be something to do with Buggie starting her sentence in past tense and switching to future tense, without a word of warning.. caught me unawares.

[Michael Palaeologus]

Nichiyobi said "Worried they're all going to be short now though"

Be a little more open minded, dont see the problem SEE the solution..

:))

I speak as a chap of less than optimum height you understand.

[Cassius]

Also, it appeared that nearly everyone except me was lying about their age - what's the point?? Just made me wonder what else they were lying about

But when you meet in 'real life' how often do you volunteer your age? "Hi I'm xyz and I'm 34" or whatever (especially if you look/act/are young/old for your age)?

I go on a couple of dates via the internet, and a couple via newspapers, and they just didn't work out. Nothing weird or strange about them - just not quite 'me'.

[daizie]

anyway i have no 51 lined up for tomorrow night..

[Sue]

Cassius Wrote:

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> Also, it appeared that nearly everyone except me

> was lying about their age - what's the point??

> Just made me wonder what else they were lying

> about

>

> But when you meet in 'real life' how often do you

> volunteer your age? "Hi I'm xyz and I'm 34" or

> whatever (especially if you look/act/are young/old

> for your age)?

>

>

xxxxxxxxx

Yeh but the point is, on internet dating sites you have to say how old you are - and it transpired that many people thought it was fine to knock many years off, and/or to post pix of their much younger selves.

Of course you don't say how old you are in real life usually as soon as you meet someone, but we're talking here about a different situation, aren't we?

And as it 'appens I do prefer men I meet in a potential dating situation in "real life" to know my age quite soon in case they want to flee :)) Luckily my OH didn't give a s**t :))

[Bellenden Belle]

My parents met through an old fashioned lonely hearts column back in the 70s! For years and years I thought they "met at a dance" and it was only when I quizzed my mother in my 20s that the truth emerged.

I like to think they were ahead of their time!

[CW1]

Xena: Worried prince Wrote:

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> Who needs online dating when we appear to have a

> good singles movement going in the wanted thread.

> ??

I'm clearly missing something as I've scoured the 'wanted' thread and can't see a thing about singles. Not that I'm desperate you understand!

[Huguenot]

I had a terrible time wi' t'interweb dating (long in the past now you understand).

Everyone was so jaded. I've never come across such a miserable bunch of people in the real world. I felt I was being judged against an invisible set of questions.

[Tony.London Suburbs]

Huguenot--

What do you think?

[Floating Onion]

Never tried internet dating sites, but the forum is a good place to pull. Does that count as internet dating?

[Bellenden Belle]

Floating Onion Wrote:

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> Never tried internet dating sites, but the forum

> is a good place to pull. Does that count as

> internet dating?

From my own experience, I'm inclined to agree with you Onion!

[Tony.London Suburbs]

Huguenot: Sorry M8 but you are getting sillier and sillier and not half as quick-witted as I assumed.

Your PM was ridiculous. I did not come back to you on that other thread because it would have been GENUINELY too easy and I DID let it go. (Oh! The irony of your PM!)..I was not going to reply at all to that, but I've have just come back from a wondrous day in The Beautiful English Coutryside and at the moment I can't be assed Matey. Any more nonsense from you and I WILL revive that other thread and ridicule your points, one-by-one.

Problem is, that I NOT YOU, who will get the flak, if we deflect the post from the Subject matter so its the complete opposite of what you said in your PM i.e I DID "let it go".

Do you know the SUPREME IRONY H?..the above was a gentle joke O PRECIOUS ONE!....

Your point, in the very last sentence b4 my comment, was about internet dating and you said

... "I felt I was being judged against an INVISIBLE set of questions.

So I continued that theme, by implying there was a question written INVISIBLY...DO YOU GET IT NOW?

It was a friendly joke which either went over your head or you chose to take the wrong way!

GIVE ME STRENGTH M8!