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The Barry Road Race - Saturday 13th June 2009 13:00

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david_carnell

david_carnell

Posted
Posted

Marjorie - relax. As an injury-lawyer I have already taken the precaution of phoning the police, council, and the Health & Safety Executive to get clearance for the event. My colleagues were threatening to hand out business cards to anyone who fell over otherwise.


If you would like to PM me I can give you reference numbers and officials to talk to if you need reassurance.


Now... do all competitors have their mandatory safety equipment (hard hat, elbow & knee pads, bucket for vomitus) and please bring your insurance waivers with you, countersigned by your mothers on the day.


Good luck all.

Ted Max

Ted Max

Posted
Posted

My brother is a senior official at the Highways Agency and he has, as a favour, programmed in signals on the A2, A3, A20, A23 and other major arterial routes into South London, warning of likely disruption in the East Dulwich area. Local diversions will be in place, with Lordship Lane and Forest Hill Roads being one way for the duration of the event, and for 4 hours afterwards, to aid free through flow of traffic. Locals are advised to stock up on essentials as there will be no vehicular egress from the cordon during race hours.


At least someone is thinking of the needs of the Motorist.

david_carnell

david_carnell

Posted
Posted
Oh well done Ted. We forgot that last year and the chaos caused by a dozen joggers on the pavement to the traffic of SE London was negligible. But better safe than sorry. Unless you're an injury lawyer like me in which case sorry doesn't cut it and we'll give you 100% of your compensation.
bignumber5

bignumber5

Posted
Posted

Drinking in 2 places, travelling between the 2 on foot?! Outrageous behaviour. I'll have you know that my stag night organisation committee submitted a route plan with likely diversions 6 weeks before the event and allowed local residents a chance to comment. Have we done this? For shame.


And what about all those people standing along public highways and at the 2 pubs just, well, banging their hands together?! Noise pollution, might wake baby. Officer, officer...

Michael Palaeologus

Michael Palaeologus

Posted
Posted

Jeeesus! I have just thought - WHAT ABOUT THE ENVIRONMENT??


15 lardy people wobbling at some speed down the hill is bound to generate a huge CO2 footprint so creating a green-house micro climate in and around Barry Road.


Stop this now or I will report you to the Greens...


or Springwatch.

annaj

annaj

Posted
Posted

Don't worry Michael, your serious and important concerns have been addressed.


Most of the environmental impact of unfit tispy people running comes from methane produced through flatulence.

To combat this I will be distributing Shreddies before the race.*



*yes, I have waited a long time for an opportunity to post that link.

Michael Palaeologus

Michael Palaeologus

Posted
Posted

David Carnelli, Human Classical Statue, will be doing his "Manequin Piss" at the finishing line.


To be exact David will stood (wearing naught but a silken scarf tossed about his neck) on a pile of beer crates beside the finishing line. He will be proving a fluidic "Arch of Victory" for the runners, or at least the first few.


Please do not laugh at his shaving rash.

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